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I've accumulated these over the years from all sorts of places. Needless to say I have a collection of more risqué ones as well, but decided that I'd better not lower the tone too much. Just a bit.

emergency — This might encourage speeding. Let's hope it's not a 'stomach' problem.

dog driver — This might encourage speeding. Let's hope it's not a 'stomach' problem.

paid — I've never understood this. You have to pay but none of the common vehicles needs to. Hmmm.

therefore — I've never understood this. You have to pay but none of the common vehicles needs to. Hmmm.

spelling — I came across this sign many years ago, well before we moved to Somerset. I was visiting the area (from Winchester) to spend a day doing dry-stone walling near Ham Hill, close to this village, Stoke sub Hamdon. Little did I know that I would be living just a couple of miles away. Although it's vandalism, it appealed to my warped sense of humour.

zebra — I came across this sign many years ago, well before we moved to Somerset. I was visiting the area (from Winchester) to spend a day doing dry-stone walling near Ham Hill, close to this village, Stoke sub Hamdon. Little did I know that I would be living just a couple of miles away. Although it's vandalism, it appealed to my warped sense of humour.

steering — Steering by the seat of the pants. It looks a bit uncomfortable.

back-to-back — Steering by the seat of the pants. It looks a bit uncomfortable.

otter — He doesn't say much but appears right on cue, twice a day.

correction — He doesn't say much but appears right on cue, twice a day.

Mr Bit — No matter how hard you try, you probably have!

garage doors — No matter how hard you try, you probably have!

no cars — The sign just isn't clear enough.

erection — The sign just isn't clear enough.

speed bump — Well, that's the Norwegian for a speed-bump ... what can I say?

wasp nest — Well, that's the Norwegian for a speed-bump ... what can I say?

book store — If you cannot find the book you're looking for then you're obviously in the ...

bull — If you cannot find the book you're looking for then you're obviously in the ...

carretera — Which way to the Nature Reserve? You can't go wrong.

plasencia — Which way to the Nature Reserve? You can't go wrong.

The Council decided a long, long time ago that you had to stop here.

banarse — The Council decided a long, long time ago that you had to stop here.

Neither do the Spanish like 'crawler' speed limits.

sausages — Neither do the Spanish like 'crawler' speed limits.

Here's a plumber who works round the clock.

van heusen shirt — Here's a plumber who works round the clock.